I was working on a project in Canada.  My client counterpart was fabulous.  She knew her people.  She was incredibly supportive about the capability we were building in her organization and was overjoyed about the skills this initiative would build in her people. 

About six months into the project, our relationship began to erode.  She delegated important decisions to her direct reports.  She stopped showing up for meetings.  To keep the project rolling, I went around and above her to get decisions made.  And eventually, she avoided contact with me altogether.  I couldn't figure it out.  Things were getting ugly.

I went to the partner in charge of the project for advice. 

Virginia wasn't high on the EQ scale.  In fact, she bemoaned her lack of people skills.  Introvert and driven, she delivered hard messages somewhat …. Indelicately.

And yet, she gave me perhaps the BEST people advice I'd ever received in my career.

When I laid out everything that had happened over the last few mo...

When I was a Chemical Engineering Coop student at Corning Glass Works, I was assigned to a project in Medford Massachusetts.  The problem:  micron-sized holes etched into teeny tiny beads were not uniform.  These beads hold substrate used to test blood for disease.  Don't sweat, I'm not going to talk about the science of Radio-Immuno Assays (RIA).

There was a man named Blackie.

I needed to test samples of glass pellets in a HUGE oven, an industrial sized oven.  The inside of the oven is probably the volume of your kitchen.  Yea, that's one BIG oven!  The only non-production oven that size was "on the hill" in our Research & Development Center.  The only way access that oven was to review your plans with…Blackie.

Blackie had a reputation.  He had been in the industry for over 20 years….or was it 200 years?  I can't remember.  Anyway, the guy was ancient to this 21 year-old.  If you didn't have your experiment well-planned, he chewed you up (painfully) and spit you out (scornfully).  ...

Have you ever woken up and remembered your dream?  I did this morning.  My dream was both unnerving and satisfying.  I don't remember a lot of the details and as the day unfolds, I'm forgetting more and more.  It's a fascinating journey to record your dreams.  You might want to keep a dream journal on your nightstand!

 In this dream, I was in prison.  I was talking to another inmate, consoling him.  I remember clearly that I woke up with a sense of serenity.  Almost happiness. 

 That's weird, right?

 My Dream Coach often said remembering your dreams is a gift from your subconsciousness to your consciousness.  We often remember images, but feelings are as important to remember from our dream as the images. 

 I could go all over the place with interpreting the prison part of my dream.  Feelings of overwhelm, stress, not living fully into my purpose, daily pressures I put on myself to get stuff done, falling short on being a good friend, etc.  I could go bigger to feeling overwhelm wi...

Paul's wife, Eva, called with bad news.  Her mother's health took a turn for the worse.  For the rest of the day, our conversation focused on family, parents, children and grandchildren.  We talked about our responsibilities as good sons, as good parents.  

My fondest memories of growing up in Chicago are watching Saturday night horse races with my grandmother and Aunt Marie.  Dad built onto our house so they could stay with us.  When my maternal grandmother, Mims, was ill, she stayed at our house in Cincinnati.  In both instances, I was too young to understand how my mom and dad felt about their parents staying with us.  One thing I know for sure, though, is that taking care of their parents was just what they did. 

Too often I hear stories about old folks being a burden on society.  When did we adopt a mindset that our parents are a burden?  Gee, when you were 2 years old, do you think you were a self-sufficient being?  They nurtured you.  Cared for you.  Scolded you when you neede...

What happens next when something goes wrong in your organization?

Over my 30-year consulting career, I've seen PLENTY of miscues, difficulties, challenges and interruptions.  They aren't exceptions.  They are the RULE!

Leaders typically respond in one of two modes when things go awry: 

• Shoot-from-the-Hip Action, firing at anything that stands
• Cool Confidence, leading calmly through the fire

I'd like to think I've led my teams with that Cool Confidence, but you'd have to ask my teams to validate.  Certainly confidence comes from a leader's demeanor or mindset.  I could talk about meditation, confidence and leadership traits.  Instead, here is a pragmatic strategy to BUILD confidence BEFORE everything goes awry!

There's plenty of project management processes and tools on Contingency Plan and Planning.  Look them up.  Use them.  All good stuff.

My approach is different.  I'll begin with ….. a story

A Wisdom Story about Governance

My Canadian client, the SVP of Strategy, was V...

When something goes wrong, we seek for reasons WHY it went wrong.  It's only natural.  In consulting, we called it Root Cause Analysis.  Unfortunately, in our attention deficit world, we don't have the patience or the time to dig deep and find root causes.  Instead we rely on easy. 

Blame is Easy

Too easy.  When someone cuts you off in traffic, you ASSUME the person is a jerk and that's what they ALWAYS do.  Your blood boils.  Maybe a few choice words spew out of your mouth.  In that moment, when your attention is consumed, did you just cut someone else off? 

A Wisdom Story of Driving Like a Lunatic

What was the root cause of that person cutting you off?  Are they having a bad day?  Are they late for their wedding?  Did they come out of the womb, born a jerk with a capital "J"?  You don't know.  You can't know.  So why assume the worst?

I remember an exact moment I was that guy.  That speeding nut, weaving in and out of traffic.  I just got out of a client meeting.  It ran 20 minu...

Are you living every day to your fullest potential?  If not, you're experiencing RESISTANCE. 

Webster tells us the definition of Resistance is refusing to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.  Sure, that's a noble view of resistance, especially when resisting evil forces.

In this weekly broadcast, we're talking about Internal Resistance:  the forces YOU put in place which prevent you from accomplishing your goals, your mission. 

When I think of Internal Resistance, I lean towards the scientific definition: 

The degree to which a substance or device opposes the flow of an electric current, causing energy dissipation. 

Your Internal Resistance obstructs flow….and energy dissipates!  Yep, THAT's the truth! 

Ever feel like you are dissipating energy while making ZERO progress?  Instead of opening that blank page and begin writing, you surf the internet for inspiration….for a few hours.  Instead of calling that promising prospect, yo...

How often do you get a handwritten letter in the mail?  Do you toss it aside like the coupon mailer?  OF COURSE NOT!!  A smile grows on your face as you see your name and address handwritten on the front of the envelope.  You instantly glance to the upper left-hand corner to see who bestowed this gift on you today!  You may not even take another step before you slice it open to behold what message awaits you.  Like getting a holiday gift!

Every month I receive Wired magazine in my mailbox.  I open and feel the slick pages of the magazine on my fingertips.  When I find a particularly interesting article, I cut it out, make 2 copies, fold them up, address two envelopes to my grown daughters and send it off.  After regularly doing this routine for a couple years, I realized the beautiful irony of this monthly ritual.  WIRED magazine.  Cutting articles from a magazine about our WIRED world.  Making copies on my all-in-one printer and then sending via snail mail to my daughters.  You might...

Interruption.  The word itself makes us crinkle our noses!  Interruptions are SO annoying!  We get interrupted by a child's yelling at the mall.  By a rude driver as we cruise – late for an appointment.  By someone talking too loudly on their cellphone at the airport.   Just yesterday I was at Barnes & Noble and there was a young couple both on their cell phones.  The young man was playing music loud enough for both (and everyone else) to hear.   AARGH! 

What is an interruption?  Webster says to interrupt is an 'occasion when someone or something stops something from happening for a short period.' 

Yep, interruptions stop something from happening. We get sidetracked from our agenda.  Pulled from our reverie.  Our motion stops going forward at the same rate.   Off track and distracted.   BLECH!

Interruptions, though, are defined from a single reference point:  OURS! 

Pieces of the universe are in constant motion.  Other people's stories intertwine with ours.  But sometimes our stori...

In the late 90's I was asked to speak on a Change Management panel.  About 60 people packed into the little classroom.  During Q&A, someone asked about the Graying of America.  The first two panelists gave their answers about investing in pharmaceuticals, boomerang parents and dementia.  Basically, the burden old folks put on our society.  I was next and I'm sure I gave an incredibly enlightened answer which I can't remember today. 

The fourth panelist glanced down at the three of us, looked at the crowd and said, "My fellow panelists have interesting and important perspectives, but I have a different one.  We are entering an unprecedented time in our human history when we have more wisdom on the planet than any other time.  And we're wasting it."  

You could hear a pin drop.

Something in me changed forever in that moment.  Ask yourself, do you feel like you are basking in the amazing wisdom that exists IN THIS MOMENT on our planet?  Yea, me neither.  Twenty years ago, I was in the ...