3 Steps to Retain Personal Power

Have you ever stressed out about what someone thinks about you?  Yep, I've done it too.

After my divorce, I all too often wondered what my ex-wife was telling my daughters about me.  Was she saying good things?  Disparaging things?  I wondered and worried.  It really ate me up inside.  I thought about being direct and asking her, but would she tell me the truth – especially if she was telling them icky stuff?  And I must admit, there was enough icky truths to tell them, too!  Should I ask my young daughters?  Aargh…this was SO frustrating!

We worry about what others think.  Every time you think about what another person is thinking, you give that person power over this moment in your life.   Is it worth your mindshare, your energy?  If it's not worth it, you leak energy and personal power!!  YIKES!

So how do you prevent leaking personal power?  I analyze these situations with three simple actions.

Step #1.  Admit I Don't Know.  The 3-step analysis begins by asking myself if I know this information.  If I'm wondering what's in someone else's head, I probably don't know.  Don't Know?  Check.

Step #2.  Determine If I Can Know.  Is this something I Can Know?  Is there a strategy I can apply to find out what that person's thinking?  Perhaps.  I could ask them directly.  That's great when there's a container of trust and forthrightness in the relationship.  If that's not the case, chance of a true answer is low.  Very low.  Then, we turn to others.  I could ask Person B what Person A is thinking about me.  In my case, I was tempted to ask my daughters what their mother was saying about me.  Really?  What kind of position does that put Person B in – especially if it's not good stuff?  Now we've entered ... the Gossip Zone.  I knew I couldn't ask my daughters what their mom was thinking or saying about me.  Can't Know?  Check.

Step #3.  Let Go.  If I Don't Know and I Can't Know, then the last step in this powerful formula is to Let Go.  Letting Go can be so hard and yet so simple.  With practice, when I find myself wondering what someone is saying or thinking about me, I repeat the "Don't Know, Can't Know, Let Go" phrase in my head.  POOF!  I feel my energy restore like a rechargeable battery.  I have a renewed sense of freedom.  I smile.  Let Go?  Check.

Don't Know.  Can't Know.  Let Go.   A simple 3-step formula for conserving your personal power and preventing energy leakage.  And maybe most importantly, you get that precious moment back to use HOWEVER you want!  Woo HOO!

Live 100% Empowered!