When I was a Chemical Engineering Coop student at Corning Glass Works, I was assigned to a project in Medford Massachusetts.  The problem:  micron-sized holes etched into teeny tiny beads were not uniform.  These beads hold substrate used to test blood for disease.  Don't sweat, I'm not going to talk about the science of Radio-Immuno Assays (RIA).

There was a man named Blackie.

I needed to test samples of glass pellets in a HUGE oven, an industrial sized oven.  The inside of the oven is probably the volume of your kitchen.  Yea, that's one BIG oven!  The only non-production oven that size was "on the hill" in our Research & Development Center.  The only way access that oven was to review your plans with…Blackie.

Blackie had a reputation.  He had been in the industry for over 20 years….or was it 200 years?  I can't remember.  Anyway, the guy was ancient to this 21 year-old.  If you didn't have your...

Paul's wife, Eva, called with bad news.  Her mother's health took a turn for the worse.  For the rest of the day, our conversation focused on family, parents, children and grandchildren.  We talked about our responsibilities as good sons, as good parents.  

My fondest memories of growing up in Chicago are watching Saturday night horse races with my grandmother and Aunt Marie.  Dad built onto our house so they could stay with us.  When my maternal grandmother, Mims, was ill, she stayed at our house in Cincinnati.  In both instances, I was too young to understand how my mom and dad felt about their parents staying with us.  One thing I know for sure, though, is that taking care of their parents was just what they did. 

Too often I hear stories about old folks being a burden on society.  When did we adopt a mindset that our parents are a burden?  Gee, when you were 2 years old, do you think you were a self-sufficient being? ...

When something goes wrong, we seek for reasons WHY it went wrong.  It's only natural.  In consulting, we called it Root Cause Analysis.  Unfortunately, in our attention deficit world, we don't have the patience or the time to dig deep and find root causes.  Instead we rely on easy. 

Blame is Easy

Too easy.  When someone cuts you off in traffic, you ASSUME the person is a jerk and that's what they ALWAYS do.  Your blood boils.  Maybe a few choice words spew out of your mouth.  In that moment, when your attention is consumed, did you just cut someone else off? 

A Wisdom Story of Driving Like a Lunatic

What was the root cause of that person cutting you off?  Are they having a bad day?  Are they late for their wedding?  Did they come out of the womb, born a jerk with a capital "J"?  You don't know.  You can't know.  So why assume the worst?

I remember an exact moment I was that guy.  That speeding nut,...

Do you remember setting the dinner table when you were a kid?

Table Manners was a high priority in our household.  Setting the table, just so.  Forks, spoons, knives and napkins all in their right place. 

Sitting at our dinner table, I can still hear my Dad's remarks bark across the table:

• Get your elbows off the table
• Your fork isn't a spoon
• Sit up straight at the dinner table
• Get the hair out of your eyes
• Did you ask to be excused?

We didn't get dessert until everyone finished the main course.  Sometimes I fidgeted at the table as each person finished their meal, just ACHING to jump from the table to continue playing with my Matchbox cars! 

Ah, but I found a twist!  As the youngest of four children I discovered I could use that rule to exert my power over the entire family.  I learned how to eat REAL slow, all three of my siblings glaring at me.  Yes, 16 chews on this spoonful of peas is about right.  Chew.  Chew. ...

The Portal Shows Up...

I was in a modern dance company with my friend Philip who turned professional after college.  He was in the national company of Norway and came through my hometown of Minneapolis on his way to participate in a one-week Lakota ceremony in the Black Hills of South Dakota.  He asked if I wanted to go with him.  And I said, 'Sure! '

It was the first time I'd ever been on Pine Ridge Reservation and the Black Hills.  First time I'd ever done a sweat lodge.  I mean, it was just magical!  At the end of the week, he said, "I'm leaving from here to go to a three-week ceremony.  Why don't you come with me?"   I told him I couldn't call up my corporate job on Saturday to tell them I'd be gone for another three weeks.  I'd have no job.  He responded, "And that's a problem?  Why?"  I explained again how important the job was to me and that it was rare in the corporate environment to take three weeks off. ...

I LOVE the definition of WISDOM as the soundness of act or decision based on good judgment, knowledge and experience.  I love it because Wisdom is in MOTION through our actions and decisions.  It's not just some bottled up concept that sits on a shelf.  Wisdom doesn't just sit in the brains of our elders! 

Want to make wise decisions and act wisely?  Yep, Me too!

The definition tells us HOW to act and decide with Wisdom.  We base them on good judgment, knowledge and experience.  Okay, I bet you're thinking, "I have experience.  I know stuff.  And I have good judgment." 

Are you wise? 

Ah, that leads us to the last key word in the definition:  Soundness.  There it is.  The qualifier.  The component that separates wheat from chaff.  Significance from Norm.  Soundness.

Soundness is a high standard to meet.  Webster dictionary says it is the ability to withstand force or stress without being...

Have you ever had that moment when you're interacting with someone and time seems to stand still?  There's a million responses running around in your head.  You choose one.  The safe one.  20 minutes later you think to yourself, "OOOOHHHH!   I shoulda said BLANK!"

That, my friend, was an Authentic Chasm Moment….missed.

Let's switch it around.  Think about 5 moments in your life that were significant.  REALLY significant.  Write them down right now.

<jeopardy music plays>

I'd place a large bet that at least two of those five significant moments, there was an Authentic Chasm Moment.  A moment in time you took a diving leap of faith.  A HUGE risk.  The moment right after that Authentic Chasm Moment, you can't believe what came out of your mouth and yet, there it is.  Because you labelled it a significant moment, something purely magical happened next, right?

This too, is an Authentic Chasm Moment, but at the...

I looked at my Dad across the kitchen table.  Breathing tubes wrap around his face and the sound of air bursts every few seconds as an air compressor pushes oxygen through the tube.  We just spent a few hours talking about politics, the decay of our neighborhood and how washing machines just aren't worth repairing any more.  I relished these mundane topics and these times with him because I knew there were precious few remaining.

I thought about asking him the next question over the last few months.  A question about my ancestry.  About our relationship.  THE question.  I got a little nervous as the words swam around in my head like letters floating in alphabet soup.  The kitchen table seemed to stretch between us.  It is time. 

The Cliffhanger

Have you ever read a Dan Brown novel?  Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, Inferno.  He is a modern master of the cliffhanger.  Every chapter ends in a mini cliffhanger so you...

"I need to go grocery shopping today, Charles.  How much money do you have?"   Charles pulls his wallet out of his back pocket.  Looks in, "$35." 

Seems like a normal conversation, but it changed my life!  You see, I was visiting Charles and his family on Pine Ridge Reservation.  A few of us gathered around him at his front door, listening to him tell stories and share wisdoms from the Lakota ways of being. 

After Charles' wife went back into the house, it dawned on me.  $35.  That's ALL they have!  There's no bank account.  No money stuffed under the mattress.  9 kids and grandma and all they have is $35!!  That realization sunk into my brain.  I was taken aback by the level of faith he has that 'the universe will provide.' 

In the Presence of Wisdom

When you go into another culture, watch for these 'surprise' moments.  You have a choice.  You can judge these moments by your own culture's...

What comes to mind when you see the word, SIGNIFICANCE?  Maybe you think of historical events.  Or famous people.  The relevant question is:  Are you significant?  In the world?  On your job?  With your family?  Significance is a big word and it has so many meanings.  Ready to explore?

I've known Becky for 25 years.  A treasured friend.  We were in the café and I was telling her about my new offering which used the words, Success and Significance.  She wrinkled her nose.  "Not a fan of the word, 'significance.'  We live in a world where we strive for more more more.  Significance is overwhelming.  And crushing.  No … significance just feels like more pressure."

Well, that didn't go how I imagined.

Significance and Statistics

Not many people know I'm an analytic geek.  When I was in my PhD program in Organization Behavior, I would go to the bookstore and buy graduate level...