Building Competencies Through Resistance

You've got the task in your sights.  It may be simple or hard, but what you need to do is clear.  It doesn't get done.  You move it to next day's or next week's To Do list.  Still doesn't get done.  You convince yourself you'll get tired of moving it to the next To Do list.   And it still doesn't get done.

You may have a bunch of reasons why push it off, but this is a specific kind of pushed task.  It's the kind where you've got a story in your head that you're not good at that task. 

"Oh, I'm not good with numbers."  Or, "I'm not good at technology."

It requires you to…..gulp….. LEARN something you don't want to!  I call these:  "I don't wanna" Competencies.

If you find yourself lacking a competency critical to your success and you lack the drive to learn it.  You can make one of 3 choices. 

1. Build that competency – build a personal learning program
2. Buy that competency – engage a coach or consultant to supplement your competencies
3. Do neither and hope that the universe delivers a miracle to your doorstep

In my experience, Option C does happen, but usually after you've fully engaged Option A or B!   The universe rewards strong intention and decisive action.

Think about a major goal you have for next year, or next decade.  What 3 competencies do you need to achieve that goal?  If you're like most of us, I bet at least ONE of those competencies is an "I don't wanna" Competency. 

In my first year of my MBA program, I loved most of my courses.  Most.  Except Accounting.  I did not connect with the material.  Here's a peak into my psyche:  if I'm not excited about a subject, I disengage.  Well, my disengagement got a "C" on the midterm.   YIKES!  You can 'C' out of this MBA program!  I had to craft a way to engage.  Here was my strategy.  I pretended my personal checkbook represented a real business:  Mosher Inc.  Instead of just keeping a checking account register, I created a chart of accounts.  Made journal entries.  Calculated the depreciation rate on the computer Dad loaned me the money to purchase -- with interest, of course. 

SIDE NOTE:  My Dad was a corporate credit manager.  Believe me, I didn't get ANY of that financial number crunching juju in my genes.  My older brother got it all.

Well, I LOVED my Mosher Inc game and completed the course with a "B".  Most importantly though, I learned to like accounting.  I turned an "I don't wanna" learning experience into an engaged learning journey.  I've used that strategy for "I don't wanna" tasks ever since. 

How can you shift your "I don't wanna" learning journey?  You need a new mindset.  Transition away from debilitating self-talk "I'm not good at technology." 

Think of an accomplishment you're extremely proud of.  You must've overcome some hurdles to succeed, right?  I bet there was even an "I don't wanna" task in there.  You saw.  You learned.  You conquered.   

When I was a daddy for the first time with my newborn daughter, I didn't want to learn how to walk her around til 4 in the morning until she finally fell asleep.  How do I do that with love and compassion through the exhaustion and frustration?  I dug deep and learned a new competency -- Loving Persistence.  I applied that competency many times in my consulting career when I was up til 4 in the morning working on a client solution.  I literally shift my mindset from a 'must do' task with all the baggage of exhaustion and frustration and resistance….and I kick in Loving Persistence.  I love the client solution like I'm cradling my daughter.  I smile…and go!   Sounds hokie, but it works GREAT for me! 

What is your secret formula for "I don't wanna" tasks?  Can't figure out your secret formula?  A good coach or consultant can help you!  Discovering your secret formula for "I don't wanna" tasks may be the exact key that unlocks success you have craved for years!

Learn Deeply, my friend!